Build a Christ-Centered Marriage.How can I build a successful marriage and family?
The Bible is a book of family and marriage. The Word of God begins with a marriage in the Garden of Eden. The Bible portrays the present relationship with the church and God as a husband and wife relationship. The Bible also ends with a marriage in the skies. So if man has to find any information or purposes of marriage, the Bible is the only authentic book.
God’s will is for every marriage to be a happy paradise. Ecclesiastes 9:9 Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun. God intention for marriage is for us to enjoy and to be happy, but unfortunately the devil tries to make marriage a prison.
We are living in times where the institution of family is under great attack. Demands at work, school, busy schedules, stress etc are pressures pulling families apart these days. I believe that our culture’s definition of marriage is much different from God’s definition. We live in a world today in which marriage is seriously over looked, downplayed, and even avoided by many. It’s sad that many view marriage as a simple contract for legal purposes and never truly see it as an institution from God.
Marriage is a very important commitment that someone makes during their lifetime. Lincoln has decided to marry Ruth and today I want to tell you how to build a strong Christ-centred home.
Matthew 5:24-25 24“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.
Proverbs 14:26 Whoever fears the Lord has a secure fortress, and for their children it will be a refuge.
Build a Christ-Centered Marriage.
1. Give importance to the Word of God.
Make sure that you obey the Word of God in your marriage. Joshua 1:7-8 7“Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.
What does the Bible say about marriage?
a. Mutual Submission.
Ephesians 5:21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.
Illustration: The captain of the ship looked into the dark night and saw faint lights in the distance. Immediately he told his signalman to send a message” “Alter your course 10 degrees south.” Promptly a return message was received: “Alter your course 10 degrees north.” The captain was angered; his command had been ignored. So he sent a second message: “Alter your course 10 degrees south – I am the captain!” Soon another message was received: “Alter your course 10 degrees north – I am seaman third class Jones.” Immediately the captain sent a third message, knowing the fear it would evoke: “Alter your course 10 degrees south – I am a battleship.” Then the reply came “Alter your course 10 degrees north – I am a lighthouse.” Submission is not easy, isn’t it?
Mutual subjection is a goal for both partners; however, in the marriage relationship God calls the woman to take the first step by having a submissive attitude towards her husband.
b. Mutual Respect.
Ephesians 5:33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ruth, what your husband needs is respect.
Joke: A man was talking to his friend and said, “In my house I am the boss, I decide when I have to wash the clothes, when the floor has to be cleaned, and what food has to be made.” One of the guys said, “How long have you been married?” The man said, “Oh I’m not married, I’m single!”
Wife may be qualified than the husband or may draw a bigger salary; however, the position in the house is respect wives respect your husband. I believe the respect should be mutual but God stresses it upon the wife to excel in showing respect.
Joke: A little girl said: “Daddy, you’re the boss of the house, right?” “Yes, sweetheart,” he said, “I’m the boss of the house.” “And I know why you’re the boss of the house, Daddy.” “Why’s that?” The girl said, “Because Mummy put you in charge.”
c. Mutual Love.
Ephesians 5:28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
Husband, what your wife need is love. In the marriage relationship God calls the husband to take the first step by having a loving heart towards his wife. As Christ is the head of church, husband is the head of the wife. What did Christ do? He first loved us.
Husbands are to pour out His love in abundance upon their wives. The more a husband loves his wife, the more the wife submits to her husband.
What is the pattern of the husband’s love? Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
What is Christ’s love? John 3:16. God gave his only son. All he had he gave it for us and that gives us eternal life. That is the pattern for us to love in our marriage. Mutual love. How like Christ loved the church. Describe God’s love and share the gospel.
1 Peter 3:2 When your husband observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your reverence [for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him—to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband].
Proverbs 15:18 Let your fountain [of human life] be blessed [with the rewards of fidelity], and rejoice in the wife of your youth.
d. Mutual commitment.
Be committed to your marriage until your death. Be committed to be together, build companionship, do things together and you are going to be joined until parted with death.
Romans 7:2 By law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive.
Matthew 19:6‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
Many couples now stay in the same home but they are as good as divorced. There is nothing in common with them. No take time to be together as much as possible. Have at least a meal together.
Illustration: Long time ago people who sacrifice their family, sleep, food, laughter, and other joys of life were called saints. But now they are called IT Professionals. Take time to do the things together: Take them to the supermarket. Slow down and experience life together! That’s communion. This will keep you from distancing away from each other.
Illustration: I heard the story of an old man, the president of an university whose wife developed Alzheimer’s disease. Several years down the road it got so bad that she could not even recognize her husband anymore. This man was well to do, gave her the best treatment, he had plenty of people taking care of her. But one day he went in an announced his resignation to the board because he could spend his fulltime taking care of his wife. The board could not understand it, they tried to talk him out of it, they told him how needed he was. One member spoke up and said why would you do this, you can hire people to take care of her. The other member said why would you do this, she does not even know who you are. He looked up and said, “Listen I made a commitment to this woman over 50 years ago. She may not know who I am but I know who she is.” That is the kind of commitment we need to have in our marriages.
Be committed to one another. When you are committed you will be able to enjoy your husband or enjoy your wife. They are God’s provisions for your joy.
Take time to talk to your wife. She needs someone to relate to her.
Illustration: Wife: “I wish you talked to me as much for me as you do with your dog…you talk sweet to him, pet him, and care for his needs.”
2. Marriage must be prayer-centered.
Do you remember the three-wheeled cycle rickshaw? Give the control of the first wheel to Jesus Christ. The husband and wife can follow as the rear wheels.
Remember, there is nothing like a perfect marriage. It is how we make it work together with the grace of God, it is how we involve God in our marriage, and it is only when both the husband and the wife fulfill God’s purposes in marriage does a marriage become perfect. May God give every couple in this place to work out a godly marriage and may God bless Lincoln and Ruth as you enter into wedlock today. Amen and God Bless YOU!